Ok, so one of the aspects of my job that I really have no formal training in is advertising. Graphics I’m good on, but the idea of advertising and marketing something is an idea that I’m still practicing and it’s not made easier by working at a church.
You see, advertising to humans, specifically Americans, is really quite simple. There are 4 things that “sell” in this world. Sex, Money, Food and Sex. In that order.
Sadly, all of these pertain to a particular “deadly sin” (yes, I realize the “Seven Deadly Sins” aren’t Biblical, but they are ingrained in our culture).
So how am I supposed to advertise a Boston Butt Easter sale to the church?
That’s right, a Boston Butt Easter sale.
For those of you that don’t know, a “Boston Butt” is a cut of meat. However, it is not from the rear end of a pig (ironically, that’s ham). Boston Butt is from the shoulder-ish region of the pig.
So now I present to you the advertising campaigns for the Boston Butt sale that will never happen.
Buy a juicy butt for Easter!
How do you like your butts?
A mouth-watering butt is all you need this Easter!
I like big butts and I cannot lie!
Bend over and see more butts this Easter!
Grab a big butt for Easter!
Share your butt with the whole family this Easter!
Don’t let your Easter meal fall through the crack, buy a butt!
We’ve got a butt with your name on it!
Forget pilates, we’ve got the butt you’re looking for right here!
You’ve never seen a butt this big!
This ain’t yo mama’s butt!
I like my butts like I like my tea parties. Hot and from Boston!
UPDATE: This was the final ad.